Baited Breath

We are occasionally entertained by fisherman antics. The fraternity built by heat stroke and countless hours on a given body of water breeds untold stories of hysterics and heroism. Then again, how hilarious is it that hooking a fish is considered professional sport?

We seem to have crossed paths with a cheeky angler. Like dues-paying members of other cottage industries such as swimming and running, their humor reeks of self-absorption. Reeks like fish innards baking in the sun? Or reeks like a gangrenous hook wound? We're not sure but, it stinks.

So you have a rod and a reel? Keep them in the water and not on the back of your ride.

Done Been There

While we are certain that we have been to more than six places in our life, whether vacationing or on business, we want to leave room for such travelers as this person. Not everyone prefers to travel: no, for some 'Mericans, the right, cheap beer and a trusty recliner in front of their glowing box is journey enough.

To these armchair heroes, we salute you: please, do stay right where you are. There are wrenchingly beautiful places and catalytically revitalizing people outside of our borders. We'll take them in and we prefer no lines. 

We like to wonder whether this driver has been to Long Beach Island twice or simply bought two stickers. We prefer certain stretches of sand along that New Jersey coast as well. That said, we have failed to be complicit such rear window braggery.

Reminder

We've covered a number of mobile tombstones, and our distaste for the same. It isn't a function of not being able consider our own Final Countdown (a shout out to Arrested Development fanatics everywhere) so much as the belief that utter strangers gather no meaning from such bumper expression.

To this commuter we simply ask: what thoughts or feelings is such a display intended to evoke? Might this sticker be dangerous? Are you at all concerned about your loved one's identity being stolen?

In the end, we couldn't in good conscience even display the deceased's name here. Such is our modicum of discretion; or is it modesty?

Greedy

At first pass, this bumper jackassery evokes lurid acts of unwelcome flavors; sort of like Marv Albert but playing as cheeky rather than scandalous. If that is indeed the case, we put this driver on notice: keep it between you and whomever it is that you intend to assault and you may want to avoid Texas. 

Sporting an unusual amount of better judgment, we rather believe that this commuter is simply a scallywag sailor offering a warning shot o'r the bow before pillaging the treasure trove. And how can we blame them? Isn't that all poor Long John Silver ever wanted?

Either way, we cite this car owner for greed and premeditated violence of one kind or quite another.

Shout out to DP of PA. Thanks for the pic!

Bovinity

We harbor little doubt that this commuter is merely an Indian paying homage to Kamadhenu, the goddess of all cows (yes, many have vied for that title). Or maybe they're a rancher taking a drive rather than another day riding the range. We admit, however, that it is conceivable that this driver has a constant hankering for a juicy steak. 

It gives off a slight yin and yang vibe right? We are comfortable with good and evil bulls, though we don't anticipate that forcing bulls to coexist is a good move. But how else would you get Holstein cattle without such coexistence?

Perhaps we are wrong and this is actually a stick family? If so, which parent is the white charger and which is the dark horse?