No Need: They're Aware

What does a figure crawling signify? Really it doesn't matter if this commuter is trying to warn against smoke inhalation or how to escape the thermal wave on the edge of a nuclear blast radius, it is just plain weird.

However, we are simply not prepared to make the call as to whether it is, in fact, weird hot. It is certainly not high in temperature or pleasing to the eye. No, it is wierd.

The good news here is that, unlike the times when your compatriot is sporting an obstrusive booger or toilet paper is caught on your shoe at a party, this driver is well-aware. Some people just like attention; the type doesn't particularly matter.

Accomplished

We are of the opinion that the paw prints with customized text has spiraled out of control. Alas, this sighting is hardly exhibit A; it really is more like exhibit W.

We are fans of snarky discourse and readily partake in all manner of witty banter, derogatory or not. However, as has been widely reported with the recent scandal involving Mitt Romney's family (or more specifically, his black grandchild), Melissa Harris-Perry has proven that children are off limits.

So we are forced to put his commuter on notice: think referring to your pet indemnifies you from such responsibility? Think again, dog lover. Owning a canine does not give you free reign to comment on parenting.

Classic

Unlike so many of the bumper vomit that we witness, this vehicle owner acquired this decor for free. And that is the way it should be: we all drive to get somewhere, not to say something.

It strikes us as perfectly American, not just a malady of the rich, that conveyance from point A to B has somehow mutated into anything more that mere transportation.

Imagine, instead, if this driver had to pay somebody to beautify their vehicle in this way. Whether you judge it as ugly or magnificent, the made-in-the-USA art would have cost a small fortune.

And so we applaud this aficionado of mobile graffiti. It looks just as awesome as everything else we see.

Anytime AND Anywhere?

We hold this part of a woman's body in high esteem. Does that make us crude? Be that as it may, please lump us in with centuries of people who appreciate a great bosom.

Yet, even owning such appreciation, we also fall in line with centuries of people who are weirded out by wide-open, in-your-face breastfeeding. It could be that obtaining milk is not the first thing that comes to mind when considering a set of plush honkers.

But our better judgement screams that we simply don't love all breasts at all times; particularly at sporting events, museums, malls and in the workplace. Just like that muffin top that runneth over, ladies: simply because you in fact have the anatomy does not mean you can't put it away.

Out of Bounds

You'll have to assume that we are hardly the politically correct police. The phrase "race relations" is only ever used by vapid talking heads filling unspeakably low viewership air time. In fact, we tend to believe that stereotypes are labeled as such for very good reason: with occasional exceptions, they hold true.

That said, Martin Luther King, Jr. is indisputably a hero and this stick family ventures a distance beyond culturally acceptable. We aren't sure what the other bumper garbage signifies (perhaps a weightlifting family?) but the Ku Klux Klan member on the left must put this commuter in danger of random acts of violence.

We also assume that sporting it on the back of the minivan renders the wearing of masks by the Klan relatively irrelevant.