Who Doesn't?

We love hefty girls whose girth spills over the top of their overly tight pants. Commonly known as the muffin top, it really is all that. Parents: if your daughter can't be described as slim, please do suggest more appropriate coverage, especially of the offending portion of their body.

While this driver admits a thing for ladies who heart soil, we merely suggest that more qualified criteria is in order. For example, is it fine with you if your dream girl steals your money, smokes cigars and fraternizes with other men, so long as they love silt loam?

We could be wrong, however, if your vision is only through the bottom of a beer glass. At that level, almost any female will work, right?