L'Chaim!

It isn't with much humility and, in fact, it's with great severity that we take issue with this commuter. We don't even know anjali but something about it makes us certain we would detest her.

If dancing is life, then we are convinced that credit card fraud is your Christmas present. Whether it's falling asleep or getting out of Dodge, we've never actually been able to make it through an entire dance performance. We'd like to think that it isn't a lack of culture so much as a preference for watching paint dry.

Or perhaps it is that we have never lived? If that is in fact the case, then we just ask that someone unplug us from the matrix when you get a chance. Thx!

All of It

Like all of our poking of fun at tailgate madness, you just can't make this stuff up. Leave it to the driver of a Bimmer to assume the identity of the greatest city on God's green earth.

Given such a voice, what would the 8.3 million residents of Gotham say about this? Okay, perhaps much of it isn't exactly fit to print. Suffice it to say that you could predict the abrasive New York attitude: these are a people who were known as driven and tough even before 2001.

Or perhaps this commuter is claiming to represent all of the Empire State? With such a varied land mass and population you get the gist of where we're going. And so we put this driver on notice: take it down a few notches. You might claim a zip code but even that is unlikely.

Illustrious

Were you also completely unaware that Westies have reached such a level of prominence? Somone call Cindi Lauper: we smell a new hit here. Girls may have fun but these diminutive and overly needy canines simply have more of it.

And, if that weren't revelation enough, this mere animal's fame rivals both peace AND love. Maybe it's just us, but perhaps John Lennon overlooked such a beast during his introspective quest to reach nirvana?

Alas, we must take issue with this commuter's most deeply held beliefs, or at least those being assumed in their drug-induced, semi-conscious state. Westies are not having fun or changing the world, they are simply shedding all over it.

Elderly Fam

Of course we're not passing judgment on such people that put embarrassing statements on their vehicle. Where would this blog be but for inflated egos and naked vanity? Some people just don't age as gracefully or maintain their appearance as well as their peers. For every Tom Selleck there is bound to be at least 15 Al Pacinos.

Don't think so? Simply reverse the genders then. How many Meg Ryans do you think there are for every Jane Seymour? And just remember: plastic surgeons aren't on trial here.

Perhaps these people are just more comfortable in their own skin. After all, eyeglasses chains, hair sticks in the bun and Charlie Brown's sweater with a bowtie are really pushing the 65 and "lovin' it" envelope.

Sunbleached

What happens to stickers that you slap on your ride after spending your hard-earned cash? Besides communicating some completely random aspect of who you are (or perhaps were), they simply bake in the penetrating sun. If you are apparently very fortunate, your stickers will one day be the same color as your ride.

Ruined? Worthless? Even if you could somehow pressure blast them off, you'd be crazy to. After all, eventually they will be retro and even look the part.

At that point, why not simply plaster the entire vehicle with fairly unrelated mementos of bygone days? The application does give it a certain something; what that is, we won't say.