Anytime AND Anywhere?

We hold this part of a woman's body in high esteem. Does that make us crude? Be that as it may, please lump us in with centuries of people who appreciate a great bosom.

Yet, even owning such appreciation, we also fall in line with centuries of people who are weirded out by wide-open, in-your-face breastfeeding. It could be that obtaining milk is not the first thing that comes to mind when considering a set of plush honkers.

But our better judgement screams that we simply don't love all breasts at all times; particularly at sporting events, museums, malls and in the workplace. Just like that muffin top that runneth over, ladies: simply because you in fact have the anatomy does not mean you can't put it away.

Out of Bounds

You'll have to assume that we are hardly the politically correct police. The phrase "race relations" is only ever used by vapid talking heads filling unspeakably low viewership air time. In fact, we tend to believe that stereotypes are labeled as such for very good reason: with occasional exceptions, they hold true.

That said, Martin Luther King, Jr. is indisputably a hero and this stick family ventures a distance beyond culturally acceptable. We aren't sure what the other bumper garbage signifies (perhaps a weightlifting family?) but the Ku Klux Klan member on the left must put this commuter in danger of random acts of violence.

We also assume that sporting it on the back of the minivan renders the wearing of masks by the Klan relatively irrelevant.

L'Chaim!

It isn't with much humility and, in fact, it's with great severity that we take issue with this commuter. We don't even know anjali but something about it makes us certain we would detest her.

If dancing is life, then we are convinced that credit card fraud is your Christmas present. Whether it's falling asleep or getting out of Dodge, we've never actually been able to make it through an entire dance performance. We'd like to think that it isn't a lack of culture so much as a preference for watching paint dry.

Or perhaps it is that we have never lived? If that is in fact the case, then we just ask that someone unplug us from the matrix when you get a chance. Thx!

All of It

Like all of our poking of fun at tailgate madness, you just can't make this stuff up. Leave it to the driver of a Bimmer to assume the identity of the greatest city on God's green earth.

Given such a voice, what would the 8.3 million residents of Gotham say about this? Okay, perhaps much of it isn't exactly fit to print. Suffice it to say that you could predict the abrasive New York attitude: these are a people who were known as driven and tough even before 2001.

Or perhaps this commuter is claiming to represent all of the Empire State? With such a varied land mass and population you get the gist of where we're going. And so we put this driver on notice: take it down a few notches. You might claim a zip code but even that is unlikely.

Illustrious

Were you also completely unaware that Westies have reached such a level of prominence? Somone call Cindi Lauper: we smell a new hit here. Girls may have fun but these diminutive and overly needy canines simply have more of it.

And, if that weren't revelation enough, this mere animal's fame rivals both peace AND love. Maybe it's just us, but perhaps John Lennon overlooked such a beast during his introspective quest to reach nirvana?

Alas, we must take issue with this commuter's most deeply held beliefs, or at least those being assumed in their drug-induced, semi-conscious state. Westies are not having fun or changing the world, they are simply shedding all over it.