Lithuania or Bust

Lest it ever be said that we don't feature support for countries and ethnicities from all ends of the earth, we found this gem and got a decent shot. And we're not saying don't be proud of your heritage: this commuter is certainly more conservatively vocal than this Polish driver. 

Then again, when it is an oft stated fact that 'Mericans can't tell you where the US is on a globe, it may just be that most viewers of this bumper decor assume this ride is hailing a section of Chicago or New York than a Baltic state. 

In salute of this proud patriot, we give you all that is Lithuanian of which you may (or may not) be familiar with: Easter Granny, the capital Vilnius, and the importance of basketball. Here in the US of A, pro basketball has become about as gripping as amateur shuffleboard. But in Lithuania that sport is a religion.

Plate Anarchy

We found this one a bit entertaining. Kind of like people who don't "get" Seinfeld, we wonder how this driver is willing to pay for vanity plates that just don't seem to go with their car. 

So, is it a Japanese auto maker or a vehicle made in 'Merica? Could it be that people in the market for a car buy the vanity plate before settling on the car?

Perhaps it isn't that easy: maybe this commuter lives in their own fantasy world like executives of some poorly run businesses. You just know that the other shoe is going to drop at some point but, like the Bluth family, you have become too accustomed to a life of luxury to stomach the change. 

A la Playa

We've reviewed that all rules and expectations about euro tags are completely out the window. Clearly this commuter is with us and, rather than sport a "PB" tag and risk being misunderstood as a Plymouth Brethren, a peanut butter supporter or a Pottery Barn devotee, they have gone all the way and spelled out this northern New England waterfront. Such is the state of bumper graffiti on 'Merican roads.

Who says la playa is only in Latin America? We put all such believers on notice: you are undoubtedly racist. God's country boasts an abundance of sandy, sun-drenched stretches of wavy goodness and Popham only proves that Vacationland is definitely the way life should be.

Dookie Delivery

Okay so this is a company having a little fun with its mobile branding. It still doesn't offend our rule and, at the same time, makes for a memorable slogan. Is the thirsty tongue going a little too far?

Is this ride considered a hazmat transport? Before you say no, imagine this truck jackknifing in front of you on the interstate and exploding excrement covering everything in a quarter mile radius.

What three-chord raging bubble gum tune would Green Day write about this? We can't say whether the pieces would cover overworked teenage angst or self-bordem wastelands but we can say that it would have run on their third album from our younger years.

Shout out to DC of NJ. Thanks for the pic!

Wailing

No, though we might be tempted to blog about some monstrous commuter we may have seen, we're not talking about whaling (as practiced aboard the Pequod) but instead wailing (like Robert Plant really letting it go in "Kashmir"). Our apologies to those incessantly entertained by "your momma" jokes.

On the face of it, we find no fault with this tailgate admission: when the spirit moves you, you really should let it loose; the louder, the better. To refrain seems like allowing a little piece of you to be put to death. 

Occasionally, however, we've noted that people of a certain non-male gender are unable to maintain proper control of their ride while screaming lyrics in a confrontational cover of a song that the original artist would undoubtedly describe as, well, altogether personally offensive. Particularly when you see the Beyonce hand gestures and swerving in the lane, you know that it's safer to pull over or just accelerate right past them. Real friends don't let friends wail behind the wheel.